Why people are so comfortable playing the role of victim

The most difficult thing for any person to do is to take responsibility. Unbeknownst to most of us … it is a gift. And perhaps it sits right under the Gift of Salvation. From our earliest days we automatically look outward when things go awry. Think about it like this … when a child gets into trouble he/she tend to usually blame the other person. They tell part of the story, the one that favors their well-being or works best on their behalf. So, you see, we have learned the benefit of taking on the position of a victim. Yes, with age we can expect maturity, but that learned behavior sticks with us, most especially, since it has worked so well for us in the past.

Now is a good time to hit the pause button on your mind. Please do not think I am saying you are to blame for every horrible act committed against you. None of us can control the thoughts and actions of others, even though we think our influence is that great. What I am saying is that we have a responsibility for how we behave.

Afraid to admit failure. Admitting that you are wrong can be difficult. Mainly, because people do not want to be stalled out in achieving success. If you have had great relationships dissolve you should take some responsibility. If you do not, you will struggle with other relationships. Stubbornness leaves us on a vicious cycle. The good thing is that failing at something does not make you a failure. Having failed & being a failure – these two things are not allowed to coexist.

Winston Churchill once said, “Success is not final. Failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.”   

 Learned from the wrong example. Who is your teacher? Be a student that recognizes the flaws of the leader in the mirror. If we realize the great things about us are not always to be celebrated first, but to be sent out into a dark helpless world, we would rise above what we see and hear and know a greater TRUTH.


The truth is we exist solely because God exists. He created us for His purposes, not to be failures. God desires a deep relationship with us as was the case long ago. Having a great relationship with God should be our hearts focus. Man and Woman were once close to GOD, but that changed in the garden of Eden after Adam and Eve disobeyed GOD. They were fooled. “The serpent was clever, more clever than any wild animal God had made. He spoke to the Woman: “Do I understand that God told you not to eat from any tree in the garden?” (Genesis 3:1) In their attempt to assert control they immediately realized its impossibility-they had none.


8 When they heard the sound of God strolling in the garden in the evening breeze, the Man and his Wife hid in the trees of the garden, hid from God. 9 God called to the Man: “Where are you?” 10 He said, “I heard you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked. And I hid.” 11 God said, “Who told you you were naked? Did you eat from that tree I told you not to eat from?” 12 The Man said, “The Woman you gave me as a companion, she gave me fruit from the tree, and, yes, I ate it.” God said to the Woman, “What is this that you’ve done?” 13 “The serpent seduced me,” she said, “and I ate.” (Genesis 3:8-13)

I am sure you caught them starring in the victim role. Neither Adam nor Eve took responsibility for their actions. He blamed, “the woman you gave me.” She put it on the serpent. They could not even agree on who was at fault. Like so many things that come from our actions in life. We think it was a result of someone else. It was Adam and Eve’s act that was called into question by GOD. If you want meaningful relationships that last. You must first be right with GOD. Accept the gift of responsibility that God has placed before us. We can only truly be 100% responsible for one person – ourselves.